I work at the library. Still (sigh). And although working in the library can have its perks and offer some cool experiences, I still have to deal with the people. And boy do some of these people say dumb shit. My fellow library workers, you know what I'm talking about. I mean some of the things they say make you really wonder it the library system is failing the public and that library books are really just small, hollow boxes with confetti or liquor inside. Some I decided why not share their “dumbassedness,” (not a word, but it’s the only word to describe the things I’m told on a day to day basis) with my fellow peeps?
So here is a way too short list/rant of the stupid things I've heard and what I really wish I could say to them. (This list was actually pretty hard to think up because after so many years of hearing them speak, I just began to tune them out).
1) (On paying a $12 fine on a late DVD) "Whoa! $12? For that amount, I could have just bought the DVD."
- No dip shit. You'd have to pay about double that amount or more depending on the kind of DVD. Consider it a bargain, be grateful and pay up.
2) “I didn’t know they were due, I thought I could keep the books out for as long as I wanted.”
-Are you kidding me? Did you really think we’d buy material just to let people return them “whenever” they wanted? No, hand it over, pay the fine and get out of my face. By the way, if I ever need advice as to how to run a non-profit to the ground, I’ll give you a call.
3) “I don’t think I should have to pay this fine, because I came yesterday and you were closed.”
- Oh so you mean the entire eight hours that we were open yesterday (which you could have also called if you couldn’t make it) didn’t cut it for you huh?
4) "Is it ok for me to eat in here?"
- Is it ok for me to slap you? I'm sure your answer is gonna be NO, (unless you're into that weird stuff but that’s neither here nor there). So guess what my answers gonna to be. We may be in a different era, but traditional library rules still apply. So take your four course meal somewhere else. (People have actually come in with straight up entrees, trimmings and all).
5) "I'm going to sue you!"
- FINALLY! Someone who's willing to take the $40K in student loans off my shoulders. You want to sue me? Be my guest! I have nothing to offer but debt. :-)
6)”The library should be open 7 days a week.”
- Look here buddy. I don’t know if you have a life, but I do (well not really but still). There are plenty of other places that offer that service. The last thing I want to do is spend 7 days of the week in the library, especially knowing you’re going to be there.
7) “The bathroom is so disgusting. It really needs to be cleaned”
- Watchu telling me for? Do I look like a janitor (don’t answer that). Are you honestly surprised? Instead of carrying on and on about how disgusting a PUBLIC bathroom is, how about you tell your fellow patrons, the ones who actually use the bathroom, to stop bathing in the sink and splashing in toilet.
8) “Can I use the staff bathroom?”
- Umm….are you staff? No? Then there’s your answer. We were nice enough to give you guys a bathroom in the first place. There are stores that make you buy something first. Stop being greedy and go stand over there.
9) "..................." (This is when a patron walks up to you without saying a word, makes you scan their card for no reason, and the two of you have an awkward staring contest until someone breaks the ice).
- “…………....?!?!?”(When they finally let me know what they want, sometimes I tell them that I just thought they wanted to hear the scanner make the beeping sound).
Seriously, I couldn’t think up the last one to make it a nice evenly round 10. Plus I’m studying for upcoming exams so get over it.
So there you have it. A small glimpse at that sadness dropped on my door step five days a week. It may not sound too dumb or too stupid to some of you. But hear me when I say. Some of these people are all out simple. And it’s not just with their words, but also with their actions. Walking around barefoot-feet smellin-,pooing on chairs, bringing their entire fleet of bedbugs and roaches in with them, old ladies threatening to beat up other old ladies. It’s World War III out here people.
Maybe next time, I’ll make a list of what I’ve seen. I’ll just have to go to a hypnotist to try to remember, then back to a therapist to try to forget.
Th- th- th- That’s all folks
-S
#9.... I hate that!! Use your words people!
ReplyDeleteLOL I know! I just stare at them in silence. Those people are weirdos.
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