Dear Mother Nature, Stop Trying to Kill Me

I suffer from pretty bad allergies and dust and pollen are my sworn enemies. This has been the case since I can remember and I just hate it. It was especially rough growing up. In the spring, we would go to field tripsto learn about "nature" and someone would stuff a flower in my face talking about "it smells goods." Call me evil if you like, but in my opinion, there are many things mother nature should keep to herself. This includes flowers. Don't get me wrong. Some of them are actually pretty and there is only one flower I've dug my nostrils in (on purpose) that ACTUALLY has a smell. Those are my favorites called Hyacinths. They're the one's that line up park avenue and you literally can smell them a dozen feet away.

But back to my beef with mother N. The worse thing about allergies is the fact that so many people suffer from it all at one time. That means that from the end of March to around the beginning of May you have thousands of people in the city sniffling and sneezing EVERYWHERE!!! Like when you go to someone's house and all of you are all are having allergy attacks. I could swear I started seeing diseases forming in the air.

 I wonder, does Ms. Nature find it funny when it's 3am and I'm tossing and turning, barely able to sleep, making weird sounds with my congested sinuses, sneezing, gasping for air, sleeping with my mouth open trying to put some air back in my lungs, only to wake up a million times from the RIDICULOUS amount of drool that has been absorbed into my pillow?

So this is my plea to mother nature. There's no reason for you to be acting out like this every spring. Take a Prozac. I know you're excited that spring is here but do we really have to go through this every single year. I'd really enjoy a spring that doesn't involve you acting like an attention whore.

 I speak for every allergy sufferer when I say. Enough is enough.

Now beat it
-S